Conversations With a Two Year Old

It’s no secret that conversations with children can be entertaining to say the least. My two year old is no different. While I could post everything he says on social media and become‚Äč one of those annoying parents that think everything their little angel does is news worthy. Instead I’m going to pretend that using this website as my mouthpiece to share funny conversations I have with my son isn’t just as bad.

Hopefully you’ll find these as funny as me. Enjoy!

Presents for Mom

Me: We should buy something nice for Mommy. What do you think?

Son: Yes.

Me: What should we get her?

Son: Hammer!

Me: I don’t think Mommy wants a hammer.

Son: Yes!

Me: No let’s not get Mommy a hammer.

Son: Yes. Big hammer!

This butt needs replacing

Me: Come here. Daddy need to change your diaper.

Child: [running away and giggling] No, no, no!

Me: [After having caught the child] Stop, you’re stinky. We need to change you butt.

Child: New butt?

Me: Yes you get a new butt.

Child: Little butt?

Me: You want a little butt?

Child: No. [Holding arms wide] Big butt.

Me: A big butt? That’s going to look funny on such a little guy.

Child: Yes. Little butt.

**As a side note he now tells me which size butt he wants at each diaper change.

More on butts

Child: [While getting diaper changed] Little butt, Daddy.

Me: Okay, I’ll make sure it’s a little butt.

Child: Yes. And Daddy [holds arms wide] big butt!

Me: Daddy has a big butt?

Child: Yes. And Mommy.

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Me: No. No. No. Mommy has a little butt.

Child: No. Big.

Me: Trust me son. If mommy ever asks, you say it’s little.

Child: Yes. Mommy has little butt.

Me: Good job, boy.

Horrify Me Elmo

Child: [Points at woods] Elmo!

Me: Elmo is in the woods? Did he come to play with you?

Child: [Sidesteps closer to me and grabs my hand] No. Hiding.

Me: Elmo is hiding in the woods?

Child: Yes, in the trees.

Me: Where? [Child points] What does Elmo look like?

Child: Red. He’s Hiding.

Me: Are you scared of Elmo? He’s silly remember?

Child: No. Hiding. [pulls me away from the woods]

**Side note, I checked the woods, no creepers were hiding in there that I could find any sign of. However, the previous day our child had said something very similar while our family was visiting a historic cemetery in Kentucky. Apparently Elmo was hiding there too, which makes this conversation a hell of a lot weirder.


More to come! Check back often as I will post all the strange conversations that I have with our son right here.

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Posted in Parenting.