I often refer back to the days pre-1970’s when I think of what manliness should look like. It may be that television, magazines, books, newspapers, radio, and pretty much every other form of media entertainment has exaggerated how the American man behaved in the first half of the 1900’s, but that seems to be a stretch. That many sources basically agreeing on something usually means that it was, at least mostly, true. I’m not talking about the political spectrum here, just your average guy going about his average life.
He woke up early in the morning, had his coffee and ate breakfast then was out the door and off to the factory or the office. He put in a solid day’s work for a day’s wage and came home happy to see his family. At night and on the
weekends he would help around the house doing minor repairs or grilling for friends and family. They understood that tools get slippery when you have lotion on your hands. These were real men unafraid of rolling up their sleeves for a little hard work, and not scared of getting dirt under their nails after getting some fancy manicure.
They loved their wives and children and treated them like gold. They opened doors for their wife, said they loved her cooking and told her she looked especially beautiful even if she had done nothing different. They hugged their children and congratulated them when they did a good job and told their kids to try again when they lost. They didn’t go screaming and yelling about their precious baby being mistreated.
You see they treated their family like gold not crystal. People don’t break like crystal, we are more malleable, and capable of bending like gold. We’re surprisingly resilient beings and capable of bouncing back from some very difficult trials. Father’s back then understood this. They would state their opinions firmly and stand by what they said. Their children learned as much from living life as they did from school and wives shared a sense of mutual respect for their husbands.
As an aside here: Your wife doesn’t respect you because you’re a small-minded coward. People don’t follow lost puppies and acting like one will not win your wife’s respect. She may still love you, but more like a puppy that she expects to obey here than like a man that she expects to be able to rely on. Just setting the record straight here.
Let’s fast-forward 40 years and see what passes for manliness these days. TV, news articles, internet posts and pretty much every other media outlet would lead us to believe that there are two distinct types of men these days. One is a neanderthal who can’t tie his shoes and only exists for comic relief and the other is a sissy with dyed hair and an ironic beard that enjoys wearing women’s jeans. Both are idiots in their own special ways and both are the root of all evil and are only out to promote “rape culture” and hate.
What the hell happened here? How did we go from smart, upstanding citizens to hate mongering neanderthals or sissies that wear women’s clothes? When did it become bad form to open a door for someone or complement someone when they look
especially good? When did the word man go from meaning a strong, intelligent person capable of taking on leadership roles to a slob that eats fried chicken in bed while playing Xbox and ignoring his responsibilities?
I see posts daily sharing articles written by feminists explaining how opening a door for a woman or complementing her on her hair is promoting rape culture and is an underhanded way of subverting her independence. I also can’t help but notice that just a few posts down there’s usually someone complaining about their husband not performing his duties around the house or at work or never being sweet to them. Where’s the disconnect here? Women say they want a man to step up and take care of the house and earn enough money to support their family while being an emotionally supporting husband and father, but doing so is the same as raping or beating your wife?
The problem is that men let this happen in the first place. We allowed ourselves to be told that we were worthless and that we were trying to lord our manliness over everyone and move society to a slavery based system where women are subservient to men. We let our own self-images be associated with rapists, slobs, layabouts, absentee fathers and every other kind of scum that just happens to carry a penis out there. Over time that image was adopted into the mainstream and is now beaten into our minds from the time we are children.
Women are inundated with this to the point that it has become a form of propaganda to support a radical belief system propagated by the worst of the female gender. So much so that they believe they want to be with one of the lotion wearing, manicure sporting sissies in mom jeans. Then when they marry one they’re blissfully happy until something happens and they realize the man they married is actually a little boy with no applicable life skills. They can’t fix the mower or the kitchen sink, don’t know how to use a pressure washer to clean the driveway or the house and constantly complain that any tool they pick up hurts their baby-soft hand.
The fact is we’ve let ourselves be fooled into thinking that we fit into these categories. It doesn’t have to be that way. There was a time when a man could go off to the office in a button down white shirt and be well groomed but then come home, roll up his sleeves and tuck into the work that needed to be done around the house. These men did not fear for the safety of their family because they would stand up and fight, if need be, to protect them. They didn’t worry about money like we do now because they would work 2 or 3 jobs if it was needed to make sure their wife could stay home to take care of the children if that’s what she wanted.
40 years ago our fathers and grand-fathers were men. They worked hard to be there for their families not because the woman couldn’t do it but because they didn’t want her to have to. They were courteous and said yes ma’am and yes sir, held doors and allowed ladies to go before them. It’s not about promoting a rape culture. If anything its about making sure women knew how much we appreciate them. They knew their jobs and performed them to the best of their abilities, but knew how to tear apart a sink and put it back together as well. They owned sheds or garages of tools that they needed to keep their property in top shape, not to show off but to be comfortable and feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. That’s what today’s men are missing. We lack a sense of accomplishment, we fail to realize that courtesy is actually just a form a respect, and we lack the commitment to support our families in hard times at all costs. You want to know how to fix it? As I say often on this site it’s not rocket science.
It’s easy to lose your way as a man. We all make mistakes and fail at times. The good news is mistakes can usually be corrected and a lost path can be found. My advice would be to look back at the men of yesteryear and ask yourself, as a man, what would they have done in your position? They were not afraid of hard work, and not afraid to complement a stranger. They held doors for women and treated their wives like ladies. Try it sometime, and I bet the woman in your life will take notice.
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