25 Things You Never Thought You’d Say Until You Became a Parent.

Our little darlings. We love to hear them talk and laugh. Watching them play is pure joy! There’s so many things every day that you can’t remember how you ever lived without. And then there’s this list and the actions that lead to it. Here are 25 things you never thought you’d say until you became a parent.

25 things you never thought you’d say until you became a parent – Oh God! There’s shit everywhere!

  1. “Poop does not go on the wall.”
  2. “How did you get poop in your hair?”
  3. “No, little boys don’t use the litter box!”
  4. “We don’t put diapers on the wall.”
  5. “Oh God! Diapers are not hats!”

25 things you never thought you’d say until you became a parent – Animals

  1. “Stop coloring on the dog.”
  2. “Stop eating the dog’s food.”
  3. “You can’t eat the cat’s food because I won’t let you eat the dog’s.”
  4. “Do not lick the dog.”
  5. “Dog’s can’t use sippies.”
  6. “You’re shirt won’t fit the dog.”
  7. “Why is the cat covered in spaghetti?”
  8. “The dog does not need to suck your thumb.”
  9. “Stop letting the dog taste your food for you.”
  10. “Do NOT eat the litter!”

25 things you never thought you’d say until you became a parent – Clothes and whatnot

  1. “Shoes go on your feet.”
  2. “Arms go in a shirt, not legs.”
  3. “You have to wear pants.”
  4. “The dog does not need socks.”
  5. “Underwear doesn’t go on your head.”
  6. “You do not have to announce to everyone that you have a penis.”
  7. “It’s not funny to fart on people.”
  8. “You have to take off your clothes for a bath.”
  9. “Why are you chewing on the table?”
  10. “Seriously? Do not RUN with scissors!”
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Everyday we say things that another human should not have to hear, but lets face it children are basically tiny frat boys. They smell bad, are kind of sticky, throw up a lot, whine about anything that doesn’t go their way and will probably get hurt without strict adult supervision.

Check out our list of 150 Horrible Dad Jokes here

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Posted in The Old Stuff.